This is my first time — I've never modeled or done anything like this before. I grew up channeling my girly older cousins; they inspired me about taking pictures, and they're my role models. I love fashion, and this is Asian-inspired, right up my alley. I wanted my fit to give luxurious — emerald green is giving royal, and I feel like it's my color too. Going in, I definitely just want to feel confident and feel like myself, because I really feel like I belong on stage sometimes; I want to feel like myself up there. Honestly, I was still very nervous — very, very nervous. I was trying my best to keep my composure, so I took a deep breath and tried to feel confident in myself, and I was just holding on to that for dear life. But it was so cool to see people in their element — these people own their shit they look amazing and they carry themselves with so much confidence, and it was inspiring me to do the same. Definitely role models. What changed: exhilarated. I feel like I just did something super fun and new, and I really want to do more of this. The moment I knew was at the end, with the impromptu little mini fashion show — I love vibing with all the other models, and I really want to be in this space a lot more.
I'm just a carefree person, and a dancer — I come from a music background, and I always say yes to opportunities, so I just say yes to everything. It's not always easy to be a musician, but maybe it's easier to be a model, so I'll try whatever opportunity the universe gives me. I just kept saying yes, and the universe kept saying yes back, and here I am. I'm still nobody, you know — I'm just glad that there's a community here. I keep coming back every month, because you can be self-expressing, and anyone can walk. When it becomes clothing, I think: how can I embody this character? So I listen to the music and feel how I'm supposed to be. Out there I felt nostalgic — like I've been here before. Because not every place you go, you feel like you belong. But this place, I feel right at home, and that's a pretty rare feeling. Other places judge you for how you walk, how you look, how tall or old you are — there's nothing like that here. I thought only I had that confidence, but everyone was so happy, and I'm so happy for everyone to feel that way too. It's a snowballing effect. We need more positivity in the world. If you go to work, there are realities you have to face — but this is a great place to escape, or to build a new reality. So more and more people can do that.
This is my third time modeling, all for XChange Fashion — this space is so welcoming that I just find myself returning time and time again. My look is a marriage of staples my colleague Shanara and I both have in our wardrobes: some silks, a silk cape, a silk scarf, and we played with pleats. It really speaks to me, because each and every single piece is a women's piece of clothing — and for me it's so important to expose queerness as much as possible in any space, whether it's catered toward queerness or not. Whenever I put together a look, it speaks to me, because each and every single piece speaks to who I am. Regardless of the medium — fashion, music, anything — you have the opportunity to show the world who you are, and it's your job to do so. Afterward, I feel proud; my colleague Shanara absolutely killed it on the runway, and with it being pride season, I can't help but feel proud. What changed once I stepped off the runway: I immediately went to Shanara as soon as she finished, and I just hugged her. This is a space meant to be open, one that lets you showcase who you are. So stepping off, it just felt like I came back home — just took a little walk around my house. My heart is here.
I stepped into modeling this year to step into me and who I am as an individual, and to show that to the world — because embodying fashion, art, and being confident in ourselves, that's what modeling is all about. I come from different communities — from burlesque and drag — and being part of this new community has opened my eyes to the possibilities of who I can be. Being around like-minded people is empowering; I get to be myself, working with designers who use me as a canvas, elevating other artists and designers and producers. I feel really at peace with myself doing this. Tonight I came in blind, and I got to choose this beautiful robe; what caught my attention was the art, because these traditional cultural robes carry so much symbolism. Me being Mexican American, it's not my culture — but we are the human race and so when we get to share our cultures and just be together, I think it's very beautiful. I feel very grateful and honored. Then I got up there. Liberating — I feel liberated. Just seeing everybody be themselves and show up the way they want to on that stage, I felt like I could do the same thing. I wouldn't be able to do this if other people weren't participating; seeing everybody embrace their individuality inspired me to show the world who I am. What changed is just embodying that confidence. Everybody gets nerves right before a show, but after completing that, I feel good about myself. In my head I'm like — I did that.
I didn't plan to model tonight; I came to support my friends, no makeup, and I ended up in this robe I first wore at Burning Man. When I couldn't find the belt, I took the tie from my wedding robe. Last time I modeled, I walked well to the camera, but when I turned back, I tripped myself — I didn't fall, but I could definitely use some skills, so I'm here to get better at it. It's my first formal time doing runway, so I was very nervous in the beginning. But the rest of the models were doing amazing — so relaxed, so confident and beautiful — and the energy kind of like passed on me too. The audience was super encouraging, and I felt great when I started. Amazing — and honestly, better than I expected. What changed is that I'm more confident, and I saw how nice and encouraging people are, even understanding that we're not professional models. So the very important lesson is just: go try it. And now I feel great.
I've been on stage performing in other ways — I recently won the Hunky Jesus competition — but I'd never thought I'd do something like this. This is my second time, and I trust Lauren's magic all the way. I told her my favorite color, and she put me in this really comfy lavender robe. Really surprised, honestly. I'm not a stranger to not having a lot of clothes on in public, but I'm surprised how nervous I was for this one. I didn't expect to have my hair done — I was surprised somebody knew how to do my hair; it's very textured, so it's easy to have trouble with. And the reaction from the audience: it's always interesting being in an intimate space and having people cheer for you — you can look people in the eye. Super intimate, and I loved it. What changed is this: I thought about what I was gonna do, and I was watching some of the other people walk, and then it all went out of my mind, and it was just — get up there and move. All instinct. I had an idea of what I wanted to do; I didn't do any of it. So it was just whatever my body naturally went for.
I came to support my best friend Augustine — I styled him tonight — and to represent, being South Asian myself, Asian culture here at the Silk Road event. I'm a stylist; I wasn't planning to walk. I'm usually a super shy person, and I used to be a dancer, but I haven't done anything like that in over a decade. Then I got up there, and I just completely let loose and did my thing, and it just felt natural to me. That part made me feel so happy. Like, yeah — I'm in the right place. Elated. Completely — I'm on a different level; it was completely unexpected of me. My best friend Augustine — everything just kind of fell into place at the right time: meeting him, working with him, him bringing me here, starting our business together and working in fashion. So I feel like this is exactly where I'm supposed to be. I've always wanted to do this; I got discouraged in the past because I wasn't really getting cast for anything, so this helped me get back into it. What changed is basically how I move now: I feel like since I'm capable of doing something like that, then I feel like I could do anything.
I came in wearing a one-of-a-kind kimono — an artist pieced it back together from recycled kimonos that were falling apart. I love being on stage; I'm a stand-up comedian and DJ, an only child, so I want all eyes on me all the time. I feel nervous, I feel my heart beating — every time I get on a stage I have stage fright, but I know I can get through it, and that's the exciting part. As a performer I always say the fear never goes away — you just get stronger. This is just me practicing: being on stage, being in the light, being witnessed, being seen. When I feel the dress, and I feel my earrings moving around, I know I look good, so I know I don't need to be scared. I was very nervous to go first — I didn't have instructions, so I just walked in a trapezoid. But each time I walked I felt more confident. And I loved watching everyone else do it — some of the girlies and guys were made for runway, and I was like, oh my god, I can do so much more. I didn't know what was possible until I saw someone else do it. At the end I went really bold and I started shaking my ass, because I was like, oh, we can do that. When I stepped off the runway, I felt really proud of myself and my other runway mates. I was inspired to do better next time — to bring more sass and attitude. So that's what changed for me: I realized that I should live with more attitude.
I came to showcase my own brand — these shoes are handmade in Italy, and they accentuate the gold; all that gold has that flair. A lot of what I do connects: the shoes, the jiu-jitsu, the card game I made to teach it, the self-defense workshops I teach at music festivals. All of it is to uplift others, and the same thing kind of went into the show. Before I walked I felt good. I think I can do it. It was my first time. Between the first walk and the second, I was watching everyone, loving it, capturing the moment. The second time caught me off guard — I was like, oh, we're doing this again? Okay, let's go, let's go. I could have added a little more swirlies at the end, but that was great; watching everyone else, I thought — yeah, I can do that, I can definitely do that too. What changed? At first I said nothing — what would change? But then, you definitely feel more; you believe in yourself. I feel more confident. Like, oh hey, I can do this. I've always thought about maybe trying modeling; it's always been in the back of my mind. So this is a great place to try it out. Just try, try, try new things.
My friend has a designer line and invited me to model for him. I gave him creative freedom — it's his design, so I'm honored to wear whatever he puts me in. He put me in a Vietnamese áo dài, which is my culture, and that made me super duper happy; last time I wore Chinese cultural attire, this time Vietnamese. Honestly, every time I walk, I black out — I'm a very panicky person, so I autopilot it and wake up ten minutes later. I've done runways before, but never like this. Typically it's high fashion: you're straight-faced, you look like you can kill someone, you're in and out. For this, there's a party afterwards; we did a lineup and all of us were busting moves. So much energy, so fun, so different — I've never had an experience like this before. What changed is the energy, and where the nerves went. Seeing people model before me relieved a lot of my stress, because I'm usually intimidated by high fashion — people have more experience than me. But seeing everyone come out and have fun calmed me down so much. It's not about looking rich and hot; it's about having fun, letting loose, and there's no judgment. That's what makes it a really unique experience.
I model to support other artists — it's so deeply personal to me because I'm a creative. Even though I'm a fashion designer myself, this event is not about me; it's about them, so it's my responsibility to showcase their art. What changed, and what keeps me here, is this: they treat you as a person, not as a model. One reason I stepped away from the modeling industry is that I felt like a mannequin — people changing your hair, doing your makeup, until you're wearing a mask in your hair and your expression, which takes away the joy of the art. But here, I come as a guest, and I live as a person. I live as Chiamaka. I love being Chiamaka, and I love being able to share the art as Chiamaka. Anywhere that doesn't allow me to be Chiamaka, I wouldn't be there — it's either I am Chiamaka there or I am not there. It's not really an opportunity that they gave me; it's a mutual privilege that we are able to share together.
